Children don’t need a good talking to nearly as much as they need a good listening to.
Whenever we come at children with the intention of getting them to listen, we usually bring with us an intense energy of insistence.
Although we do so with the purpose of teaching them, more often than we realize our ways shut down the connection we need to truly ‘get through to them.’
In parent-child relationships this is easily forgotten simply because we operate out of roles. I am the parent and you are the child. I talk and you listen. I teach and you learn. I say and you do.
Connection requires both parties to be engaged, it needs both sides to feel seen, heard and understood.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that parents debate and negotiate their stance with their children, that wouldn’t be practical and nor would it instil a sense of trust in children that their parents know how to take care of them.
What I am saying is, if you want your teachings to sink into your children as they grow, pay attention to HOW you impart the information.
Forcefully barking orders creates fear, and fear often motivates a superficial change in behaviour, but it doesn’t mean the child learns to do the right thing when you’re not looking.
True learning happens over time in the space of consistent connection. As parents, we’re the ones best positioned to create the conditions needed for children to truly grow up on the inside.
Being more mindful of our ways is the very beginning and besides, our children have a lot to teach us if we just take the time to listen.
With love, Bridgett