“When we say the words, “Don’t cry” to an upset child (or anyone), they might get the message, “Don’t feel”. That’s not good for their healthy emotional development.” – BM
Although we usually mean well when telling a child (or anyone) not to cry, our doing so often discourages them from feeling the sadness, loss, disappointment or frustration that moved them to shed tears in the first place.
Contrary to what many parents think, tears do not signal the emotional system is not functioning well; instead they are the essential indicator that the child’s healthy emotional development is taking place right before our eyes and their tears are meant to draw us in to console them.
Sharing their tears with us is a sign they trust us with their most vulnerable feelings and we need to see it this way because when we do, it softens our response and we’re more likely to offer them much needed comfort in the moment and save our reasoning for later when they’re more open and able to hearing it.
With love, Bridgett ❤️