“Young children aren’t out to get us, we need to ‘get them.’ A shift in perspective is what we need if we are to see children as the innocent beings they are. If we can do that, it can make our connection with them even stronger.” – Bridgett Miller
Much of the stress and conflict we experience when interacting with young children stems from our not quite understanding where they are developmentally.
More often than we realize, we make things much harder on them (and on ourselves) than we need to.
Because we love them deeply and want the very best for them we sometimes get ahead of ourselves by trying to teach them what they are not yet developmentally ready to grasp.
* Any time we come at them with adult reasoning, it’s lost on them because their young brain isn’t wired to ‘get it’. Yet.
* Any time we put teaching them ahead of connecting with them, we inadvertently sabotage the relationship we long to have with them.
* Any time we try and shape their behaviour by using punishment or separation they experience us as being against them rather than for them.
Young children don’t understand the long term adult goal of ‘Only doing this to you because I love you.’
How we treat them is how they experience our intentions.
We need to remember that they aren’t ‘out to get us’, they behave in the ways they do because they are young, immature and don’t yet know any better.
They learn best through gentle guidance and repetition because this draws them into connection with us and keeps them open to learning from us as they grow and develop.
Young children learn best in the context of connection as that’s what they need and value the most.