In a world that seems obsessed with saying and doing the ‘right’ thing, some people stop saying anything for fear of inadvertently getting it ‘wrong’.
Those who do speak up may focus so hard on trying to be ‘correct’ and to ‘please everyone’ their message gets lost in delivery. Of course there are certain words that are across the board unacceptable but there are others which need to be used in context because without them the point gets missed.
IMMATURE is one of those words.
Every now and again I get called out for referring to young children as being immature. In terms of their development, they are just that, immature, and they are exactly as nature intended them to be right now.
Seeing them in any other way detracts from the fact that they are PERFECTLY IMMATURE.
We need to acknowledge and respect this if we are to show up and meet their current needs in ways that will support them to grow up and become the mature adults they are capable of being.
When people glibly refer to adults as being immature, it’s usually dished out and received as an insult. That’s because it compares an adult’s current emotional maturity to that of a child and implies that the adult has missed the boat on maturity. That’s hurtful and unfair.
When adults act out in immature ways it’s typically because, in that moment, they lack the brain integration required to behave in more mature ways. Their behaviour is perceived as being unacceptably immature and ‘inappropriate’ because it doesn’t match the expectations we have of those who are mature.
Problem is, people assume that along with aging comes maturity. That’s not always true. Maturity is the result of brain integration which occurs in the presence of conducive conditions for growth and emotional development. When these conditions are lacking in the early years, children get stuck in immaturity but their bodies continue grow into adults.
As Dr Gordon Neufeld says, “We all grow older, we don’t all grow up.”
As parents, we can provide the necessary conditions for our children to mature but first we need to acknowledge and appreciate them as the perfectly immature beings they currently are.
This theme is explored inside ✨”What Young Children Need You to Know: How to see them so you know what to do for them.” ✨